One Tough Editor

Vigorously, I rubbed my closed eyelids, hoping to gain another ten minutes of focus for the arduous task at hand. Weary, overworked eyes refocused on the short story atop the desk. Truly, it represented the author’s best work to date; but after several edits, it remained short of perfection.

Red pen gripped firmly in hand, I circled a name, 'Daisy', and wrote: ‘This minor character isn’t well-developed and does nothing to move the plot. Give her a bigger role in your story or remove her.’

This comment would no doubt draw her complaint, but I took my job as her editor very seriously. She represented the unbridled talent of an aspiring author. Though I found it tempting to cut her some slack, superficial editing would prove a disservice not only to her, but to the future of the craft.

I circled a fragmented sentence and wrote, ‘fragment’. This author, of all people, should know better!

As I neared the end of the story, my gaze stumbled across the most ungraceful writing faux pas of all. It assaulted my sensibilities like a cigarette butt in a Zen sand garden. With a trembling hand I circled the offensive sentence and wrote: ‘Comma splice!’

Their work completed, my numb fingers released their grip, and the pen clattered against the desk.

I sighed then called the author.

Moments later, she entered my office, her eyes filled with hope and anticipation. My aloof demeanor rattled her, and her expression of hope quickly morphed into one of trepidation.

“Is it bad?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yes. Somehow, you’ve managed to squander everything we had gained after the last edit. It’s unfocused and full of errors. Who’s this Daisy character? There’s a comma splice in the last paragraph! How could you?”

She stared at me with a blank expression. “What’s a comma splice?”

“Please, tell me you’re kidding!” I shouted.

She jumped at my shrill reaction.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “A comma splice is when you join two independent clauses with a comma.”

She tilted her head and searched the ceiling as if looking for clues.

I sighed. Man, this job is difficult! “You don’t know what an independent clause is, do you?”

“Is it like a sentence?” she asked in a near whisper.

“Yes, it contains a subject and a verb. It expresses a complete thought.”

“Okay, I understand.”

“Great.” I handed her the paper. “Go make those changes. With a little tender love and care, your story will sparkle like the stars.”

She headed for the door then stopped and looked back. “Mommy, do you think it will be good enough to win the first grade writing contest?”

“Yeah, honey. I guarantee it.”



Just a little something I wrote for an on-line writing forum last year. Hope you enjoy it!

Love, Vanillatte.