I Want a Tail...

Seriously. Wouldn't it be fun to have a tail? When I was a little girl, there was a cartoon show called Josie and the Pussycats. (Okay, I just Googled it and found out there was also a real life movie made based on the cartoon, so even if you aren't as old as dirt, like myself, you might still know what I am talking about.)

Anyhoo, my cousins and I played Josie and the Pussycats all the time. I think, if I'm not mistaken, we always fought over who would be Melody because we all thought she was the prettiest. and she played the drums which was way cool.

We used to tuck long pieces of fabric into our pants and pretend those were our tails. Pretty useless tails, however.

So, I'm thinking if we had tails, we'd have all sorts of new options for accessorizing. We'd need tail warmers right now because it's so cold outside. Or perhaps our pants and skirts would be made with a tail receptacle like another pant leg. I imagine the beauty, or lack thereof, of our tail would dictate whether we showed it to the world or not. If our tails were simply extensions of our last vertebrae and covered with skin that wouldn't be very exciting. I'd much rather it be covered with hair, like on our heads. It would give the beauty salons more business, because we would inevitably want to color our tail hair some exotic color.

More than likely, people who are prone to pierce and tattoo other parts of their body would opt for doing the same to their tail, especially if it wasn't covered in hair. That would be a big boost to the jewelry industry. Just imagine going in and getting your 537th piercing on your tail.
What I REALLY want is a Na'vi tail. Forget piercings and tattoos and pretty fabrics. I want to be able to directly communicate with every living thing on the planet. Well, almost everything. I'm not really sure I want to know what's going on in the mind of a possum.

I'm sure it would lead us to a better understanding of what goes on in the minds of our pets. Take for example our cats. I can just hear them now. I come into the office and link up with my cat and he says to me.....

"It's been like three hours since you've fed me. If I were bigger than you, I'd just eat you."

Okay, perhaps knowing what's in the minds of our animals isn't such a great idea.

Still, having a tail would be pretty cool. Oh well, I guess if we were meant to have tails we would have been born with them. Besides, if we had tails,we'd have to redesign not only our clothing but our furniture as well. We would probably find it quite uncomfortable sitting on our tails. Every time we got in the car, we'd have to make sure our tails were tucked inside, or we'd slam them in the car door. It would mean one more thing for the kids to fight over. I can hear it now...

'Mom, Jeremy wont' keep his tail on his side of the car!'

'Jeremy, keep your tail on your side of the car, honey.'

'I can't help it, it's falling asleep from sitting on it. I need to stretch out.'

Sigh.

Perhaps we don't need tails after all.